A truth

Sometimes someone comes out of absolutely nowhere
And does something completely unexpected
That changes absolutely nothing

A trim

‘Love it mate’
The barber swung the mirror to the other side.

‘Perfect, cheers’
A single tear falling down his cheek

A sheep

A sheep became friends with a Raven.
The sheep bleated when it saw a worm.
The raven would pick bugs out of the sheep’s fleece.

This arrangement continued for a few weeks.

A cub

Carl bought a lion cub.
He reared it to adolescence, playing in his large garden.
Family, friends and neighbours marvelled at the seemingly unbreakable bond between boy and cub.

Eventually, Carl had to send the lion back to Africa.

Carl turned 40 and went on a once in a lifetime journey to south Africa.
He had worked out where the lion was and spent days tracking the herd.
Finally, he found the lion alone.
He crept up and after a moment’s hesitation, the lion bit Carl’s head off.

A opportunity

Richard and Frank sat next to each other on a busy commuter train.
They were silent, headphones on.
If they did speak, they would find they had many things in common.

They both grew up in Salford and moved to London in their 20s.

They both liked the same Northern Soul Bands.

They both enjoyed cooking Thai dishes at home.

They both had been divorced and struggled to re-marry.

Richard even knew Frank’s brother, who was year above him in college.

But none of this was revealed.
They did not say a word.
Frank packed his rucksack and left the train at Tooting.

[]

A win

Boruk bought a football team.
He had always liked the scarves, pies and noises.

He also liked the funny players playing their silly game.
He also turned out to be really good at the whole business.

He got the team promoted with a new manager and went on a famous cup run.

Nowadays, there is a statue of him by the burger van.

A shame

Annie fell in love with suspect No.3.
It was awkward because she was 90% sure that was the man who robbed her.

A cow

A slow walk up the slope was all she could manage.

The wind would not let her go any faster.

She turned behind and looked at her little-one.

Eyes batting away flies that weren’t there.

A migration

A migrating bird overslept
They had all gone when he awoke
He flew southward on instinct
His wings already feeling the strain

A let down

Simon had spent thousands on plastic surgery, which made it all the harder when the director told him he hadn’t got the part

A clown

‘No one owes you anything’ shouted the clown on the street corner
His make-up fading in the rain

A song

Ryan wrote a song for his daughter.

‘Why don’t I get a song?’, said his other daughter

‘Because you’re not very inspiring’, said Ryan.

A conversation

‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’

‘This isn’t Rome though, it’s a buggy. You’ve had four weeks’

[]

A truth

Art is easy until you have to do something good.

A baptism

The grey heron led an egret down to the riverbank.
Heads bobbing in solemn silence.
Legs stalking forward.
Ecclesiastical elegance.

A minute's silence, then the heron dips egret's face into the brown water.

A try

Josie didn’t know which card to get so she got both.

She wrote one, attempting swagger, then threw it away
She wrote another slowly, awkwardly, crushingly.
Each word as tortured as the next.

Then popped a stamp on and shoved it in the post.
Eager to forget the whole business.

A metaphor

Step into the world raw and vulnerable.
Soft, podgy, pink skin.

Then grow an armour and grow a shell.
Grow big, grow tall.

But do not lose the podgy skin.
The point of armour is to protect something.

A mistake

‘Born Slippy’ came on at the wedding and cousin Mark reached for the mic.
“Wait for it, wait for it!” he implored the audience.
His arms were low but getting higher.
The uncles at the back of the room mouthed “there’s no drop, no drop”.
They started doing that cutting motion at their throats.
Mark only took this as encouragement.

A moment

Flight 457 was cruising at 7000ft.
The time was 4am somewhere.
A warm glow dipped over the horizon.
Carpeted clouds sunk deep below.

Aneurism

Greg thought about too many things and had an aneurism.

Guernsey

Jim swam to Guernsey.

He stood dripping in the town centre, assuming someone would come and ask him where he had come from at some point.

But he dried quickly and his Speedos started to grip.

He became self-conscious and slunk back into the water.

A long journey back home.

[]

A publication

Brian self-published a book on Amazon and, to the surprise of fucking nobody, failed to sell 10 copies.

A wank

Doug briefly thought that being involuntarily celibate was at least better than being voluntary incelibate, then quickly realised his mistake and had another painful wank.

A striker

Harrison was the top goal scorer at his club and always bought post-game shots in the clubhouse.
He had a bullseye tattooed on his elbow which he tried to incorporate into celebrations.

But at half-past two on a Tuesday, you could find him carefully folding sheets and making cups of teas in the local care home.

He liked old people and felt at peace talking to them

A mistake

Blatantly, Robin hadn’t read the instructions.
Blatantly, he wasn’t going to admit it.

The family spent the winter sitting on a sofa with no back and 3 arm rests.

A ploy

Suzi snuck a hammer into the theatre and tried to finish her birdbox during the loud bits.

A glint

Somewhere in the woods the life shifts on its axis.
A quiver of grey in the dark green.

It’s not the solution but its miles away from the problem.

[]

A rot

Susan wrote down a good idea.

But it sat there mouldering – looking twice as bad as when she thought it.
Degenerating at an alarming speed.

It now looked like shit.

A triumph

Rollover hotdogs were only the third best thing about Arianna’s weekend.

A pang

Amy felt an instinctive pang towards the celebrity being interviewed on the news.
She briefly daydreamed of their imaginary friendship.
They would cook for each other and watch baseball.

Amy turned the telly off and went to bed.

A hunt

Jones became too old to hunt so became hunted.

A preference

I like it when nature falls in on itself.
When it cannot bear its own weight.
Tangled, bowed and thorny.

[]

A consequence

George started yarn-bombing his local lampposts.
Four arson attacks later, he stopped.

A deal

Michael wanted something for nothing, but everywhere he went, people wanted something for something.

After deducting travel and accommodation, Michael ended up with nothing for something.

A renunciation

At 11:32 on a quiet Thursday morning, just outside Greggs, Sally Perkins renounced God.

A growth

‘Snake eyes’ grew up as ‘Graham’

A cheat

David watched Hollyoaks on double speed but didn’t know what he was saving the time for.

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